My Journey towards Spiritual Awakening and Healing
Growing up in a small town in Germany as the youngest of 3 sisters, I felt like I needed to fit into a box that was created for me before I was even able to figure out who I was myself. I grew up thinking constantly that there was something wrong with me, because no matter how hard I tried to sit still, be a nice and sweet girl and to be quiet, I kept failing. In my youth I became very depressed and suicidal, but quickly learned to mask the pain, because my surroundings didn’t have the capacity to hold space for the complexity and intensity of my emotions.For the longest time in my life I believed that emotions are something that needs to be controlled, suppressed and cautiously selected if I chose to express them. I was also conditioned to think that as a woman I needed to look and act a certain way in order to be loved, and that my dream of making art and sharing it with the world was ridiculous and impossible.All the masking, the shrinking, the denying and the holding in of all my emotions eventually led to burnout, a Complex-PTSD diagnosis and various physical ailments such as stomach aches, back pain, PCOS and chronic fatigue.Eventually I got really honest with myself & admitted something I’ve felt all along:
we didn’t come to this planet to sit still, be like everyone else, work, watch tv and die.
My consistent endeavor to explore what it actually is that we came here for has led me to profound studies of ancient traditions, holistic healing modalities, psychology, neuroscience, eastern and western philosophy and different spiritual pathways. On this journey I had, what I in retrospect understand, a spiritual awakening. Through a daily rigorous meditation practice I started to see, hear and feel things that have always been there in such clarity that I was able to fine tune and use these psychic abilities to heal myself.This strong connection to the Spirit World has guided me to find my various teachers and mentors that helped me feel safe again in my body. Safe again to feel. And finally safe to be myself.I always knew in my heart that I want to make music and share art with the world; and when I walked into the yoga shala the first day of my Shamanic Yoga Teacher Training I felt in every cell of my body: this is what I want to do.I now release my own music and videos and I help women reclaim their creative freedom through embodiment and ritual, so they can build a life that reflects who they truly are. I do the work I really love and feel connected to myself, my body and this world as beautiful as ever before.
My story in a nutshell:
a short video I created about my life,
because I'm also very passionate about video editing :)